My Private Train

I have a private train.
It doesn’t pride itself on speed, doesn’t shine with prestige, and doesn’t follow anyone else’s timetable.
Sometimes it moves, sometimes it stops.
And sometimes, it simply gets stuck.

There were times I tried to force it forward.
Pushed all the buttons, tried to shove myself into motion.
There were moments when I felt guilty for standing still.
But over time, I learned that there’s wisdom in the breakdown.
That it's not always a malfunction – sometimes it’s a call for repair.
Sometimes it’s an invitation to step off the platform, look around, and ask myself if I even want to keep going in the same direction.

My train moves at its own pace.
It’s affected by emotions, memories, pressure, and fear.
And no, I don’t have just one role.
Sometimes my job is to wait.
Sometimes it’s to pause, to maintain, to be still.
And sometimes – to step off. And choose again when and how to return.